I never actually made anything right. What I hate most about it is that no one actually understood what’s going on in my head. Seems like every little thing I do is a waste.
Passing that qualifying exam, I thought it was a good thing, though I felt bad about those who weren’t able to get the passing grade. Yet, I wouldn’t even feel proud about it. Why would I when everyone else keeps on nagging me about it like as if I’ve done the evilest thing in the world.
In fact, it became my worst nightmare!
People calling you big-headed just because you pass! It annoys me more than it hurts me to hear my friends saying it in front of me. It’s frustrating to think that I couldn’t even say something about it because it’ll end up being misunderstood. I commit something faulty, they’ll start nagging me again! Damn!
Whenever I make a petty mistake, it’s like I’ve become the dumbest, stupidest sucker in town! They always put up like it’s such a big deal when in fact I don’t even give a damn about that fucking exam.
It wasn’t my fault they didn’t pass! It wasn’t my fault that I passed either!
Honestly, I wasn’t even prepared for that fucked-up exam, yet they always find it a lie! For them, I left them behind! I’m full of excuses and reasons! Whatever I say they won’t even bother listen. Though for them it’s a kind of joke but for me it’s too much of a joke. It hurts a lot knowing no one really give a damn about what good I do with my life.
That exam only gave me a burden instead. Expectations are one of them. I hate hearing those words “You’re a quail-passer so you better do this…don’t do that…stop being like this…it should be like that…and so on and so on” FUCK! I’m sick of it!